To the Days that Never Were

"I'm full of a future that never got lived,
days that should have been but never were."
Clara Oswald, Doctor Who: The Rings of Akhaten


We lived for Strawberry Hill and April showers,
for silly pranks and brighter days.
We suffocated our demons as they rose
and let life be, for all it is.

I do not begrudge you the high road, straight and fast,
nor the picture's perfection; that isn't life
but fantasy writ in this wondering mind,
left to wander a long and crooked life.

I leave cigarettes on the water,
a peace offering to the gods that be.
I thank them for you, for memories
and dreams and tears, for all the things
you left me -- and the things you didn't,  I see

our child in my eye, your first laugh line,
the years of straight progression, matrimony,
love and lust, a house on a hill, anger and laughter,
angst; a bottle of bitter pills, quaque die,
our bodies find sleep; for once, for all,
find peace.

But you were the hurricane, and I mundane;
never quite enough to match your pace.
I leave you to the years. I hold you dear.